The Big update!

Let the 2nd Year Begin

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, 2 months since I last made Interweb contact. Well I say it make the blog grow stronger. Poor effort on my behalf, as I’m sure you’ve all been worried sick and have sent out the rescue teams to track me down. Well fear not worrisome readers, for I have re-surfaced like a pacific black pearl diver from the depths, clutching another bag full of yarns and undersized stories!

Sometimes while travelling its best to hold the correspondence until something worthwhile has happened, lucky for you lot the duChats and Co have been busy little beavers indeed. So lets ‘Dive’ right in… my last contact dealt with a few concerts and a messy tour around Ireland…… well as I like to keep things uniform, this one will be no different!

I left the Green Isle bound for London about a 6 weeks ago, with a faint hope of perhaps shifting the social life into a lower gear. After what was 3-4 going away bashes in Ireland I felt I was due for a small rest! So below are 3 posts, oneeach from Dublin, London and Paris! In reverse order....you'll see!

Also have added heaps of new photos! Even some old Globetrotter ones i found...haha. Good times.
http://flickr.com/photos/benduchateau/sets/

Also some other Vids down the Right hand side! Enjoy.

Paris - The Mother Land

A true highlight of the past year was my first trip to Paris to see the All Blacks. A home coming of sorts for the duChat, back to the land of my pioneering fore fathers. Well we all know how good Paris is, so I’ll refrain from crapping on about its finer points! Only to say that a £2 bottle of wine actually tastes better than one would expect, and with the advent of the plastic pop top…perfect for the long trip to the Game! Yes, I may have a flashy French name but there is top notch kiwi blood flowing thru my veins! A Rachel hunter quote springs to mind…..

As luck would have it, my musical concerting partner Troy had managed to get a few tickets to the Killers at a small venue in downtown Paris. So I hit town a few days before the test on the Wednesday to hook up and see them Live! Trip there was mint on the Eurostar, now my preferred travel method…well only to France to be fair. Felt very Secret Agent like on the Train, very fast. Sorry I digress.

A few warm up drinks in the shoebox sized hotel room, we hit the gig at pace. Troy and his Wife, Catherine, and yours truly straight to the bar. Then after getting a feel for the 1000 seat room, the mosh pit! No repeats of Gun’s N Roses incidents…as far as we know. Check out the vids below. Mr Brightside and All the things that I have done. They would be one of the best bands I’ve seen all year, just awesome!

KILLERS VIDEOS

All the things that I have done

I was informed some days later that we in fact ended up at the local….how do I say…strip bar in the Moulin Rouge Area! Which I had no recollection of then, or now as I write this. I’m squarely putting the blame on the triple Tequila’s we consumed…or so I’m told! Is there anything worse that going to a strip club and not actually remembering anything of it. The Lord works in mysterious ways my friends.

So after doing a fair bit of footwork (Fancy?) getting around Paris, and basically avoiding any verbal contact with the locals (A Shock to some but much to the dismay of Mr Holt. My 3^rd form French Teacher, I actually faired rather poorly in the subject. I blame a genetic disposition to the language, figuring that’s why my ancestors left the cheese eating surrender monkeys to it).

Friday came, and with it a huge influx of Lads from England and Dublin for the big test on the Saturday night. Through some cunning planning the

majority of us were all in the same establishment, with a few others dotted around the suitably dodgy red light district of Moulin Rouge. More sex shops than the internet! (That’s what I heard anyway)

As Jimmy Barnes once belted out, Cheap Wine!! A connoisseur of fine wine would have chocked on his Merlot, for our standards revolved more around price than locale or grape variety. I believe the cheapest was something around the €1.85, that was a bargain…even for vinegar, which it had a striking similarity too. We loaded up once again in the shoebox and decided to have an impromptu gathering, as more lads floated in for the weekend. Come 10pm, Tokaroa and Manu were in full singing voice, with classics such as November Sun in Paris! The owner decided enough was enough and pulled the fuse on the room. So lights out we all hit the town! Once again memory is not quite like when I appeared on mastermind that time in 86, but needless to say the lads took full toll on the local bars! Meaning the next morning involved enough pills to keep a retirement home open.

So the big day had arrived, all quietly rearing to go for the big AB’s v Frenchies test at Stade de France! We spent most of the day trying to decide on all manner of ways to get booze into the ground, which as it turned out was more like fort knox, than a Rugby ground. This frenzy of ideas was prompted by the astounding fact that they only serve NON-Alcoholic beer inside. We learnt this from some poor sod who had, in 2004, consumed about ½ Dozen brews only to realise he was still sober…the most freighting story ever heard! Well not us, so after tucking into the Red, we all packed the drinkers best friend – Hipflask! Unfortunately a few saw fit to lighten the load on the train to the ground, and drained their hippies! As you do…. Prob for the best, because we all had to at the gate, as the security was tighter than Jeremy Cameron before payday!

Game and ground were just awesome, hard to describe…..which is what I did with my old batting partner Harbott, who after consuming his (And Paris’s) share of Scotch was unable to make out who was who from the 90 odd people running around the field! Classic Harbott. See the eyes below! Good man

We all finished up the night over running a bar back in Moulin Rouge area. Foolishly the bouncer was letting in anyone claiming to be Kiwi, so we had ownership of the place. I also unleashed my refined break dancing skills on an unsuspecting French public, and floor! Took me a week to realise why my big toe was blue? Might be time to pack the steel toes when dancing! Also only made the train by absolute minutes in morning! From waking to train was under 25min! Some effort, and thanks Steve for the Alarm in the morning. I believe some might have actually missed there’s back!

So Paris, what can I say. Only I could write a whole 2 pages on the place without mentioning the main attractions. There’s always next time…..

(Photos all stolen/borrowed from Harbott and Dalton, Cheers Fellas)

London - The duChat has Landed

The thing about London is that there seem to no surprises, nothing that someone before you hasn’t done, and therefore plenty of advice as to what Not to do. But I say rubbish to their advice, so in the true Elderstatesmen way I’ll make them all again…some even twice.

First weekend as per is always a blur, but was actaully able to see some of Londons sights, this being my 4th visit here having not seen any bridge, palace or abbey yet! My Friend Jackie was over for a few days, so took the opportunity to see some of famous places. Kind of beats the Postcards.....

I had booked a lovely room in Hotel Ward, complete with Street side views and TV at the end of the sofa. Amanda and Joe welcomed me into there home like they child the never had, and frankly didn’t want! Bless them. My first real taste of the Backpacker lifestyle…Dosing! The first week was a nice relaxed beginning to my time here, but this was soon shattered with the arrival of Marty “String ‘em up” Veal fresh from the Orient and looking for a sparing partner in any bar around London. So being jobless i slipped into the role fast, who was I to turn down midday drinking while watching cricket!

I’d love mention the Vodka incident the following Saturday night at the Halloween Party, but to be completely honest I have no clue as to what transpired after that bottle was finished. But I’d sincerely like to apologise to the chap dressed in the Kiss outfit for breaking his Axe….and to Marty , the bouncers and most of all the coat check girl for spending at least 20min searching for my ‘Lost’ leather jacket…which I’m happy to report was found about 2hrs later sitting on the couch at home, having never left the house. Top work on my behalf! Well move on shall we!

A few weeks later Harbott and a few lads were over for the AB’s V England match at Twickers, which was a beauty. The Previous night we all met up in down town London. With Ward, Veale and myself holding fort waiting for the rather tardy Harbott (on 6 hour journey from Dublin, bi-plane i think), Sandy and Emma turned up. Then Leper, fresh from Canada! After what turned out to be an all day session on the Ciders we all decided to push on and find another bar in the Convent Garden area. The smell of fresh hot dogs and fried onions got the better of us, so we loaded up. You see in London there must be a dodgy hot dog stand every 20m, armed with this info we decided to tuck into our 2^nd course at the next sand. This is where it gets a little strange. As we waited for ‘Hasim’ to prepare the dogs, a Van full of under cover cops pulls up and 6 lads jump out and being to arrest ‘Hasim’ for illegal hot dogging! With out a word of a lie, they shut off the gas, and cuffed the poor bastard. Not letting an opportunity pass, I decided to dig into the ‘Evidence’ and we all got away with free dogs! Once word spread to the other Doggers, panic was rife…..hot dogs were going for basement prices! Tragic really…we were all full as fuck!

The game was a cracker, and there is nothing like smashing the poms on there sacred home turf! Girls Aloud at full time was special, thought they played better than the pommie back line.

Ireland - Some of the Best

So my time in Ireland came to a predictable end, a blur of going away do’s and impromptu send offs. The 2 best nights were the work send off and then the next week my final weekend in Dublin. Was really cool to gather of all my friends I have meet in Ireland over the past year.

On the Friday (Oct 6th) I met up with all my work crew. Much to my suprise a good turnout was there, must have thought I was going to do a shout..haha...fools! Cheers Team! Was a really good time, and will cherish all those memories, well up until memory loss kicked in around midnight! For those I’ll just see the photos!

Saturday involved a good night out in Town with all the Kiwi and Aussie travels I have collected, and call friends! Another top notch night on the gas in Dublin, perfect send off it has to be said. So to all the crew Cheers, love ya work.







Although most nights went smoothly, there was one exception; A night of random drinking with Troy after my last day at work. We headed out to a local for a celebratory pint, which lead to a 3am finish. After surveying our limited options of transport, we foolishly decided upon one of the local Rickshaw operators to get us safely home! Wrong. Now these are two words that don’t belong together on a page – Safely and Rickshaw. I would dearly love to fix the blame squarely on our inept eastern European driver, lets call him Sergey. But that would be unfair. You see after stopping for a hearting (Of the arteries) feed on route, I decided in all my infinite wisdom to help old Sergey out. Jumping from my seat I proceeded to help push the little rickshaw past it’s record speed (Which I believe is somewhere between the speed of smell and Rush hour traffic). What we failed to do was centre the load, this being Troy, and as we rounded a rather sharp bend……..we produced the kind of action stunt more at home in the chariot race from gladiator! Sending all 3 flying across the road and onto the pavement! Fortunately I came away unscathed, Troy however boor the brunt on his right hand, which swelled up like a little fat kids! The real winner of this was my Garlic fries, which I’m happy to report were left in perfect condition (well until I devoured them). We never saw Sergey again…last seen heading in the wrong direction, cursing something like 'Fuckin Foreigners' , couldn't agree more myself!



So a few more little gatherings finally ended my time in Ireland, which will go down as probably one of the best years in my life. To say I enjoyed the place and people would be an understatement akin too saying the Irish only like the odd drink. When looking back on my 12 months there it only brings good memories, the place is just so easy to live in and get around. Kind of like an alternative version of New Zealand. Amazing scenery, landscapes and a rich enduring history that you can’t help but get caught up in. For most of us Kiwi’s we really only hear the English side to the tales, but hearing the history of Ireland and trying to learn as much as possible was a real special aspect of my time there. And of course the people, which we all know are just brilliant. I can’t recall over the past year of ever meeting an Irish person who was rude to us. In ever bar and town they are just so welcoming. You can strike up a convo with anyone in a bar/train/cab ect, and generally they start them. Also meet some really great Kiwi and Aussie friends who I’ll hopefully have as friends for many years to come. It’s funny, from the 1st day there Harbott and myself really only knew 2 people, but by the end we had gained a whole new group of mates…I spouse that’s why we travel!

Right enough of the sentimental bullshit! On to London

Work Drinks @ O'Sheas

Welcome Back old Friend

First off esteemed friends, I must apologise for my lack of correspondence on this blog for the past Months. For answers to this literary absence you could blame lack of inspiration, but that would be untrue. Perhaps lack of imagination, but for I have plenty. Even boredom hold no sway, No my friends the answer to this rather mundane mystery……is…well….buggered if I know! I’ve been busy?

We are in count down mode over here currently, T minus…about 3 weeks. You see people our most important asset while travelling is running low. VISA. With no real way of overstaying, and the unappealing thought of dodging immigration again, the chaps are looking yonder for our thrills. With this in mind we have been trying to squeeze as much out of, and into our stay in Ireland as possible over past 6 weeks. Its been some of the best in the last few months, with summer winding doen the Irish try and get every dam ounce of fun out it, and as guests its our duty to make sure we full our boots! And believe me folks we certainly grabbed it by the ears and gave a dam good shake. So set the phaser to Stun feed the cat, check the roast and sit back for the highlights package of the best bits (in no particular order)!

MUSIC

Lets kick off with the Music round up, which as you know has been really kicking along over here. We headed to Billy Joel @ Croke Park a few weeks back, fantastic concert.

I won’t bore you all with the details, but listening to Piano Man live will be a highlight in my years to come – Surprisingly one of the enduring memories was not of Billy, but one of his roadies. He was given the mic at the break, and decided to belt out AC/DC’s highway to hell! Classic stuff. And his name….Chainsaw! Just about brought the dam place down.

Also caught up with Jimmy Barnes. The old Aussie crooner was in particularly good ear drum shattering form. Headed along with my Dublin Convict connections and Jimmy didn’t disappoint. He really is a throw back to the old days, when a man could just grab the nearest mic and scream (LOUD)! Ears were dead set bleeding within 10min. He played most of the Cold Chisel classics, which was good because I couldn’t tell you any of his new shit! See Khe Sanh Below..special

But the Real Musical highlight of the past few months was the Oxegen Festival. Harbott, Tok’s and myself headed along to Punchers town, to experience this 2 day riot of sound! And what a weekend it was. Some of the acts included: The Red Hot Chillies, The Who, James Brown (My black father), Artic Monkeys, Kaiser Chiefs, Strokes, Ben Harper, Pharrell Williams, Franz Ferdinand, Eric Morillo some DJ’s…over 120 acts. You get the picture. The weekend is really like back to back Big Day Outs with a sleep over in the middle. This part of the world is mad on these things, there must be about 20 big festivals over the summer period, so the choice is maddening, as anyone that has lived in Europe can say.

See some of our mate Matt's photos - Oxegen

Paddy Wagon Tour - Tour Pics

So in between the musical interludes we have managed a few weekends out of Dublin. Prob the only one to talk about was the Paddy Wagon tour with the 6 lads. The Paddy Wagon tour is a Contiki of sorts, but with added Irish Charm, which in our case was Trooper. If this prick was on the brochure the owners would be singing for there supper. He was a true classic, I lost count of his swearing the F word by the time the bust hit the first set of lights.

Anyway, the tour was for 3 days to the Irelands lovely West Coast. Taking in the seaside town of Galway and the idyllic country village of Killarney. This is quite a hike, but was well worth it. Check out a map, basically the bottom left hand chunk was to be our stomping ground for 3 days.

We all meet at around 8am, sprightly and alert from a quiet Friday night spent at home. Well one of us anyway, with all the lads out on the gas in Dublin. Twats! As with any transport in Ireland ours was 60min late, and not a Paddy Wagon bus…top start! Making a bee line for the back seat the lads took up residence for the ride. Seamus, Sam, Manu, Tok’s, Troy and yours truly. Trooper laid down the rules, well I think they were. And we were off. I won’t bore you with sightseeing updates, these were the historical highlights – Castle, cemetery, castle, shrine, castle, bridge, peat, cliff, river, castle.

We all had to introduce ourselves to the rest of the bus, Trooper asked the ‘Kiwi’ lads to go first. After much haggling I decided to kick proceedings of, regaling the bus with some old Nam stories, my troubled childhood and my repugnance towards pigmy’s. But the real star of the show was Tok’s, this his speech in full:

Hi, my names Aaron Tapsil, I’m from New Zealand, I’m an All Black and I came to Ireland to make Love…that hasn’t worked so I thought I would take a Paddy Wagon Tour!

We all thought the poor Portuguese bastard to follow was going to have a hard time beating that, until he said:

My name is Ricardo, I’m from Portugal. I was meant to be on the Belfast tour, but it was full…so I had to come on this one! - All said in broken English, dead serious. Just about pissed my pants laughing! (Maybe you had to be there). So with Ricardo as our new reluctant best-friend we trucked onto Galway, City by the Sea.

We had a plan for the night; the plan was simple, like my brother Tom. But unlike Tom, this plan just might work. The lads had all decided to don the Dead Man suits. You might recall the last outing for these bad boys was on St Pats day back in march. I also believe that was the last time they were actually cleaned. Anyway, the chaps all looked super sharp as we hit Galway’s night life. As luck would have it Galway Race week was in full swing, so the place was packed tighter than a coat rack at an RSA on ANZAC day!

The actual dynamics of the night are some what muddled. We all headed for Dinner with the Paddy crowd, then broke ranks and headed for Galway central, which was actually only a 30 Step stroll! Having experienced some rather large gatherings in recent times, I really think Galway was hitting above its weight, similar to watching Andy Waite chatting up a super model. We knew getting thru this crowd was going to be a challenge. Galway’s centre is basically in the shape of the letter A, which as luck would have it was our letter of the day along, with T and the number 5.

The brilliant thing about Galway during the Festival and Race weeks, is drinking on the streets. In any other town around, you would be asked to pour out the pint, but in this place they actually give the option of a plastic pint! After doing a lap of dis-honour, and actually running into people we knew (Which was rather a few people, we is very popular over here), finding a good place to settle in, or more precisely a line of sight to the bar, was essential. The suits proved to be a smash hit again, some locals actually thinking we had been at the races, others thinking we were just wankers, and who am i to argue with logic. All the lads eventually went there separate ways, all convening at the hostel in the morning, well that was the plan. Upon emerging in the morning, all sporting fresh and rather painful hangovers, we discovered one of the group had not quite made it the required 400m back to the hostel. Instead, deciding on ‘Alternative’ accommodation across town! Now, this under usual circumstances is all good, but with a feisty bus driver and 9am kick off, he was fucked. As the bus pulled out (No metaphor), we all bid farewell to Galway and also to a lost comrade! They say in War that you should never leave a man down…..well fuck him, this isn’t war. So we packed his bags and left him to fend for himself…..which I’d imagine was rather tough, having to spend the rest of his weekend wearing one suit, 70’s style.

For those struggling to spot the missing man, just see the photos…clearly obvious who is missing! Filthy Filthy swine of a man!

So it was off to Killarney in Co. Kerry, via the Cliffs of Moher. These puppies stand at 700m High! So after peaking over the edge and grabbing a fresh set of underwear, it was across the Shannon river to our destination for the night. I really have little to say about Killarney, due to the fact that we arrived in at 6pm, had quick shower and were straight out on the gas. But it looked really nice! (Heathen).

We ended up heading to a restaurant with the paddy crew, nice place. As most nights do this one started slow, mainly due to the large night before and still having vertigo from those fuckin cliffs. Incidentally we worked out that it takes a rock about 7-8 sec to hit the water, its amazing how far NZ maths can take a group of 6! I also believe they loose a few plucky tourists every year (Prob the Eastern Europeans), unfortunately we weren’t lucky enough to time one of them falling but suspect they wouldn’t beat a rock!

Sorry, I digress. At the restaurant shots were had –

Also a Haka was requested, so 3 of the lads got up and belted one out. 2 Maoris and a whitey, so I didn’t think they would need my talents. We headed to a mint cocktail bar and dived right into the 4 Euro drinks (This was a bargain), after an hour or 2 the tour leader Trooper announced we were heading to another bar, which he assured us was ‘The Best Bar’ in town! Riiigggghhht!

So we all left the cheap drinks and talent to find ourselves in the d arkest dingiest bingo hall in Ireland. We walked in to be greeted with 70+ Blue rise gangs, local council looking types and a freakish amount of hippies. WTF. This place had all the promise of the Ivory Coast Ice hockey team. Reassured by Trooper that the band was going to go off, we grabbed a pint. Then the Band hit the stage, your traditional Irish rock band. The age range must have been 50 years, with the Drummer being well into his 70’s, must have been his fan club we passed at the door. Well, then they started to play, and that was that. We did not leave the room all night, absolutely brilliant. I never had much respect for the piano accordion, but this dude made the thing sound awsome, such an under rated instrument. As for the lead singer, he was just the business, played the Tin of his whislte! Ended the night discovering there was a night club down the back of the joint, full of the ‘locals’….ah no bother.

Finished the night with a 400m sprint back to the hostel before curfew, which is perfect because that’s about the limit to my running abilities at the moment. Good work Killarney, recommend a visit.

Not to much else to report from that tour, headed back to Dublin the next day in bits, but well worth it. Hard to try and remember the dam thing, being over 6 weeks ago.

So I wouldn't say that is the latest, i'll be back next week with some kind of run down.

Jackson and Ward - Twats

The other weekend Harbott and I readied ourselves for 2 visitors from Home. Joe Ward and Fresh from NZ, Andrew Jackson was due to arrive on the Sat for a lazy few nights on the chop! Now the only reason I am putting this on the site, is too high light one mans failings and another mans utter incompetence.

I received a call around midday from Jacko explaining how they were not making the flight. What could it be, terrorism, delayed flight, under sized calves…No …due to him leaving his Passport at Joes place! This from a man currently overseas on a business trip!

Anyhow, another night for duChats and Harbott in front of the fire.

See you next year Jackson!

Jackson and Ward seen here in better form!

Better Recognise Fool

In true bizarre style I was recognised by someone on Saturday afternoon. I'll paint the picture. We decided to watch the AB's game down at the Woolshed (Famed Kiwi Bar) at 10.30am. Now, as one does while watching the Rugby a cheeky pint was ordered. Fast forward to 5pm, and the lads are stumbling to Temple Bar eager to see what theme the masses of Hen parties have chosen tonight. Note: Playboy is so last year, Cow Girls are back ladies!
Sorry, i digress. We were dinking in one of the bars, and happened to strike up a convo with two lads at the bar. About 10min into the riveting convo of the break down of commercialization of the eastern European social fiscal safety pin industry, one of the lads points to Troy and bellows!

Tall Guy: Fuck, I know you!!!

Troy: Oh yes?

Tall guy then pivots…..and points at me

Tall Guy: And you…….and I know where!

Its about now the 2 of us are scrolling through all the drunken mad moments of the past month in out heads, while questioning our minds – Who have I abused, scrapped, pushed, cheated ect! All the while coming up blank!

Troy/Ben: ….and where would that be!

Tall Guy: I saw you both get thrown out of Guns N’ Roses!!!!!!!!!

This chap was standing next to the both of us when we got turfed out, I mean what are the odds. He said it was bloody amusing, and went down pretty much as described, which in its self is a bloody miracle considering our state.

Though I would share team!

StarWars...Wankers

This was quite possably as close to being a Jedi as one can get! View and weep my little padwans!

Castle de Ranelagh - Madness

A few weeks ago we decided to have a little gathering of like minded individuals. This was to be a small celebration for Harbott's Birthday, and also nicely coincided with our Kiwi neighbors Nathan and Sarah’s going away bash. Little did we foresee the debauchery that followed. We also had Joe Ward flying in for the night, as he called it, the One Night Stand!

The real gem of the day is located below. Our friend Troy decided to turn up with RedBull and Yeager. So as you can imagine some tomfoolery ensued! The below video was taken..and well it really speaks for its self. Ward and Tokaroa doing the Redbull challenge. Enjoy.

Comments are Welcome people!

See the other Videos from the day - Click Here - Castle de Ranelagh Vids

Music is the Way

I awoke on Monday a deadbeat barren shell of a man, with an exaggerated limp, ringing in the ears like an old Chinese gong and a broken Air Guitar!. But it is not all doom and gloom in duChats town, as I had one of my best weekends in Dublin wedged firmly in my belt. Let me regal you in stories from the seedy underbelly of modern rock and metal concerts!

Friday night saw the much anticipated return to the ring for Guns’ N Roses, although Axel Rose being the only member still belting out the hits. Bless him, he looks like has had an argument with an angry plastic surgeon, we’ll from my angle anyway. He has got a few other people together to reform. I’ll jump straight to it. He was bloody awesome, as were the rest of the band. But to be honest, this isn’t his website, so back to me!

Troy and myself decided an early finish on the Friday would be the best angle of attack. So after a quick pint at the local on the way home, we picked up some supplies at the off-license. Meaning we got 6 beers and a bottle of JD’s, which on reflection might have been a wee bit over the top considering we only had about 2hrs till concert time! But as we are both seasoned campaigners we quickly put these thoughts to the side. Anyway, sunk a few in the back yard of Castle de Ranelagh in Dublin’s finest sunshine……and cranked on the best of GnR.

Excitement of events can often lead to over consumption early and fast, these such times have been well documented within any social group. Need I remind people of Kirsty Roberts famous Western Party, Globetrotter Playboy bash, Early New Years experiences or perhaps a Big Day Out. So with this history in mind, I’ll push on!

A couple hours later we headed of to the concert in high spirits, being just a 20 min walk down the road, we skipped our way to the RDS to watch the band play some ‘Tunes’, chatting with all the lovely fans along the tree line route! Oh, Dublin in the Summer!

Can all of my Parents stop reading now! Please, this next part might leave you with lesser feelings for me!

The above is what I like to describe as white lie, in other words utter bullshit, on the other hand below is the hazy truth. Because after having a few beers, what better way than to get into a GnR comeback gig than drinking our old friend JD and coke! We finished the bottle, much to our surprise and headed in a cab to the gig. Security at this place was about as tight as a leaper convention, meaning Troy walked right in with a bottle of JD’s & Coke, which is were I believe the term – Straw that broke camels back – came from! Drunker than a Portuguese out house. Now boyed by our sneaky luck, we headed to a nice quiet spot up in the Mosh pit and settled in! Axel was in full swing, all the classics, My Michelle, Welcome to the Jungle, It’s so easy, Mr Brownstone…….

This is where things take a turn, after a solid few songs of hard moshing we decide a better view is needed, so up on Troy’s shoulders for a cheeky peek at the 35,000 fans. Hands in the air, singing loud! Brilliant. Well, until some shit pushes us off balance and I end up on top of the mosh pit, Crowd surfing, which I have to admit I enjoyed. Until I remembered (Not sure how) the line on my GnR ticket at the bottom (Below General Admission)! Exibit A….oh shit.

Involuntary crowd surfing is hardly a sound defense, but it’s all I had. The security grabbed hold of me and Troy, then attempted to hurl us over the railings! We was being chucked out of Guns’ N Roses no more than 6 songs in! Not with out a fight I tell you, it took more paddies to pull me out than an All Black ruck….all the while I was screaming “I’m an innocent man….” Troy took the less travelled route and decided to flatten one of them. Next minute we are on the Street, me with a gammy limp and minus a phone, the Troyster earned him self a tender jaw for his trouble. But the never say die ANZAC sprit kicked in, as we searched for alternate routes back into the ground. Tried jumping fence, got caught. Tried casually walking in, got turned away. In the end it took a rather elaborate story of just landing from Australia to convince the young lass on the door to let us in again! Brilliant, no more than 2 songs later we were back in and rocking! Just in time for November Rain!

After the gig we headed back to Castle de Ranelagh, were a full scale party had broken out. We have really brought the neighbors together, Melrose place styles…with out the swimming pool, good looking people and scandal! About 4 hours later the place was alive to the sounds of AB’s v Ireland, that was hard work! Followed by BYC then out for drinks with the lads. Another great night in Dubbers!

Also had the Metallica gig on the Sunday night, which was brilliant. Capping of a great weekend. No real great yarns other than Dublin has a high percentage of munters. It was very funny walking to the Gig and seeing all the fans of the Eagles (Playing up the road) converge with the Metallica fans….oil and water.

Will be posting the Yarn about the Brazil game at some stage, but seeing as Geneva was not the most reverting place, I have to make up a good story to keep you all interested!

Take care

STOP PRESS – I almost forgot to add the highlight of the night – After our triumphant return to the Gig, they played Sweet Child O Mine……this my friends was probably my best Air Guitar moment ever. Picture me, in full strut, grinding the Axe to the sultry sounds of the gunners, 35,000 people watching! Make me Proud!

Switzerland Here We Come

Well folks, the Elderstatsmen plus Dan and Lisa are off to the Mountainous terrain of Geneva to watch the Mighty All Whites put pay to the over the top Brazilian show boats!

Yes folks the eternal optimists are on the road, Setting ourselves up for a major fall, we’ll be accepting nothing less than NZ victory. Has there been a bigger under dog in world sport. Brazil rated 1st - New Zealand 118th.

If we can’t muster a win on the pitch, sure well put in a good show in the stands! Lads are going for the Beige Cricket Uniform. Should be a fair swag of Kiwi’s going, so watch this space for a ripper update of European shenanigans.

Ronaldinho, eating the World Cup.....still ugly as a bucket load of assholes, but dam good! See this - Video Note: Might not be completly real...but you get the idea

Bon Jovi

I woke on the Saturday morning with an extra sping in my stride, for tonight I was in 80's soft rock heaven. The world famous Bon Jovi, with heart throb Jon up front and amature porn star Richie Sambora on lead guitar, live in Irelands biggest stadium. 80'000 sceaming fans.

Funny thing is, before I got myself a cheap ticket, if you had asked me if Bon Jovi were still touring I would probably have said No. Selling out an 80,000 seat staduim, your dreaming. Well in the emortal words of W Bush, I might have 'mis-underestimated' the old Glam rockers.

After watching the Munster Rugby team deal to the dirty cheese eating surrender monkeys from Barritz in the Hieneken cup final, I caught up with my mate Troy and his 2 Australian friends, Mark and Sarah to head to the gig. Moving straight into 2nd gear, Jim Beam was the order of the afternoon. A short cab ride and then a dodgie stroll through to Croke Park, we were greated with quite an array of Jovi supporters. From the very young, to ageing old mums squeezing into there leathers from the back of the closet, not the best look but rather entertaining.

The lads really put on a good show, but I really only new about 30% of the songs, but they did play some classics. Living on a Prayer, Dead or Alive and Shot thru the Heart! Special. See the videos below.



In the end, was really cool. But only issues i had with Jon.....No 'Blaze of Glory'. I was all ready to scream that puppy out, but no dice. Bastard even teased me with 3 bloody encores...I mean honestly who does 3 of them with out playing the best song they had!!!!!!! You could feel the pain in the crowd....or maybe it was just me. If there has been a bigger travisty in concert history i'd be dam suprised. But was a good night anyway. Croke park is one hell of a ground, and look forward to getting there for some sport, or even a bit of Billy Joel in July.

Next up the Munta weekend from Hell June 9 - Gunners and Metallica.

Were Back

First of all, an apology to all those ‘Elder Statesman’ fans who have been eagerly awaiting the next installment of the Statesman files. Excuses, as always, involve ramblings of poor time management and lack of energy. But in the end Ireland’s favorite kiwi’s are back on the web, so sit back for a recap of the last month or so! There is a lot to get thru folks, so be patient, and I’ve split them up to give the more ‘feeble’ of you a shot at getting through them with out loosing your place.

WARNING: Reoccurring theme

See 3 x Posts Blow Team

Stung in London

Joe Ward, he of the large posterior and thinning crop, invited Harbott and myself over for a nice relaxing weekend to watch his rugby team (London Wasps) play London Irish in the English premiership. The idea of returning to London after last years fateful trip caused much anguish with the Elder Statesman, but undaunted we pressed on with our plans. We decided, in our infinite wisdom, that we would head over on the Saturday afternoon on the cheap flight. And then back at midday on the Monday (Bank Holiday), which ultimately provided our final downfall.

So off to Airport, and flight delayed. 1-0 Airport. Harbott heads into duty free to buy some Whiskey for the flight, to calm our nerves. Except, its more like Duty without the free….same price as normal, infact more. 2-0 to the Airport. End up most of the way thru bottle on subsequent flight, and 1.5 hour train ride to Wards house. This travel time came as a surprise to the both of us, because we thought ‘the Wards’ actually lived close to the city center, when on closer inspection (Actual ride in train) we discovered Ealing Common (apt name) was not within a fuckin country mile of the fact. No bother!

We arrived rather happy, and after some initial catch up with the Girls, we headed out to meet up with Duncan Wilson, Leyton and Paul Booth……South Kensington anyone!!! Another 1 hour tube ride followed, only to be greeted with London’s drunkest kiwis, well it was special. An early afternoon session had put pay to any sensible conversation, so the lads did there talking via Tequila shots and some Vodka concoction. (Note Ambulance in back ground...not sure why)

Queue Wilson attempting to shake hands with Harbott and duChats via the medium of a clenched fist to the mouth….nice work champ. A quick DDT out the front of the bar put pay to Wilson’s night, and we headed off for greener pastures…..or Putney! 3 Lads tried too get into a nightclub, but the Alabama porch monkey on the door decided we weren’t the clientele they were looking for….what 3 steaming drunk kiwi’s!!! Blah off home to bed.

So the next day Amanda, Harbott and myself headed to High Wycombe for Joe’s game. Had really cool seats in the players area, the ground only seats about 12,000 meaning it was really intimate…cosy infact. The game turned out to be amazing with 14 tries scored, 3 of those before I had sat down with our beer. Unfortunately Joe and the twins weren’t able to engineer a win and the Wasps went down 37-56, but the score line was not a true reflection of the game. So the night was off to a good start.

We then waited for Ward to scrub up, and managed to meet his coach Ian McGeechan after Harbott dispensed some honesty calls on old Geech, he managed to secure Joe another 10min game time for next week. Poor Ward was at this stage pinker than a slapped arse, as his two mates embarrassed him from pillar to post. Next up this young girl comes up to Ward for the obligatory signature, he grabs pen and signs the page (his face to be more precise) and I casually ask the young lass who he is…….she looks him dead in the face, shrugs shoulders and finally points to his now defaced player profile! Brilliant.

To be honest it’s just jealousy from the Lads, but fuckin worth it. Ricky Flutey was also there waving the NZ/Maori flag aloft, with his combination of number ones and jandals, to mickey bro.Anyway before leaving the ground we stopped by the Souvenir store for the Joe Ward No. 16 jumper, but we must have just missed out because there were none on the racks..Buggar.

We piled into cab’s back to London, 40min cab ride, to the Wards house for a pitstop. Downed a few more and then headed out into Fulham, the Stags head I believe, meeting up with Sandy. Now it’s at this point things were getting messy. Car sickness is a ghastly issue, but when its not your car it makes for interesting state of affairs, and this was such a scenario. Young Harbott, having endured 60min worth of cab ride combined with the London cabbie BO, need to vent. Tactics were required if we were to stay on time, so Ward and myself engaged the driver in some witty repartee while Harbott sent his last meal onto the roads of London…well he thought!

We managed to get to the pub, and upon exit of the cab, we were all greeted with the site of the door completely covered in spew…..a crowd had gathered and were also enjoying the humor of it. Took me a good 10min to recover from it.Harbott recons the Cabbie must have made fuck all due to his new ‘Client Repellant Door’….to funny.

We all hit the Stags head, well like a Stag and were right into it. A few of the Girls from home were there, Katie, Cindy and Sandy. Hadn’t seen Sands for at least 1 year, so was great catching up with her. We then headed to another bar down the road, but at this stage we were all well and truly cooked. So off home. Where Ward decided to play Chef!

See the video below for drunk’d antics of Joe and myself.

The weekend had been problem free till this next point. London = Travel. We kind of got the distance and time needed to get to Airport completely incorrect. Infact we weren’t even fuckin close to catching our 12:00pm plane. Thinking leaving Wards with 2.5 hrs to spare would be plenty, it suddenly dawned on us ‘we was wrong’. So after a frightfully boring 4 hour wait we were on a plane home. Airports 3 – Elder Statesman – 0

God I hate airports.

We did have great Donut when returning home, got to see the Kaiser Chiefs live at Dublin Castle, care of Sean. Was Brilliant. The start of the music season. Bring it on.

Donut Kings - The champions of Ireland

The Heineken Cup Semi-Final between Leinster v Munster was billed in Ireland as the biggest sports event of the year. The 2 best teams in Ireland competing for a place in the final for the European crown. Big stuff people. Tickets we being sold for over 500Euro a pop. The game was to be played at Lansdowne Rd on the Sunday 23^rd April. Now Harbott and Myself have been rather critical of the standard of footy over here, but were keen to watch the game in a pub some where. Lucky Steve’s boss actually likes him, and quite amazingly handed him 2 tickets for the east terrace……excuse me!!! . This guy is a massive supporter of Leinster ….but we no complain. Below is a view from out Dans flat window

So the night before we had the game, the lads were out in town, basically trying to sell these tickets for 600 each. Hey god loves a trier…haha. No takers, which was all good. So Sunday morning comes around and the boys are ready to go. But as so often happens with Donut, it can be infectious. Dalton gets a call from friend who also has 2 spare stand tickets Dalton wanted me to add, and rightly so, that the tickets he blagged were West stand seating. Were as ours were in the terrace, which had a closer feel to the pamplona bull run than a rugby ground. But was still bloody good. …looks like 4 of the lads are being treated. We headed to the local, and were greeted by dumb founded looks, and comments such as “How the fuck did you 4 Kiwi bastards get FREE tickets to THE game”……ah we know people.

The Video above is not mine, our seats are down the far right end. But just shows the atmosphere so well.

Incase you don’t know Munster have quite possibly the most madly loyal supporters in the world. Red everywhere. They also have a huge female following, even have special womens tight fitting rugby jumpers….top work Munster. Anyway, Game was not that flash. But atmosphere was insane, Munster winning easily. Then off to the Lansdowne rd Hotel for a rather extended Sunday session with the lads. Helped that this was the first day we had worn t-shirts in Ireland….good times.

Its Actually not that Far

Easter weekend was a good opportunity to head out of town for a few days, so being the religious heathens we are, a booze drinking trip down to cork seemed the perfect way to celebrate Jesus’ big day (s). So we packed up on the Saturday morning (15^th April) and headed down south in Stevo's postman pat van. We decided to take a leisurely approach, and do some sight seeing on the way down. We stopped at Cashel, to see the 'The Rock of Cashel', a 4th century fort looking over the city. Lovely spot, so after scouting around the ruins for an hour it was off down the road towards cork. Passing this sign below

prompted the familiar quote, "It's a long way to Tipperary", in fact it was only 20km. Unable to come up with a reason not to and hindsight rearing its painful head again, we decided we would check out the town. After settling down for some grub in one of the local pubs, and reading the lonely planets highlights of the town, which consisted of a grisly old statue and some swimming pools, it was decided that perhaps Tipperary is Ireland's most disappointing location! Ah, no bother! Probably been built up over the years by the old WW1 marching song.......can’t remember the words…but you get the gist!

I digress, so off to Cork, 2nd largest city in Ireland. Manu (Adrian Kamariera) has been living down here for a few months now, and was keen to show the boys the highlights and fast.

A quick bite at local chicken gaff, which turned out to be the only eating establishment to see our mouths all weekend (3 visit’s…..shit it was the best chicken ever tasted, sober or not!), we were out on the gas with Manu and friends. Queue a painful darts game, and god awful dancing at the local disco bar, Club Havana. Yes folks, it was as unoriginal as it sounded. But the reality of being in a bar with people, who are a full decade younger, does strange things to ones confidence….off home lads!

The nest day we had the Annual Cork beer festival on, now we told Manu that we were coming down to see him, but who can compete with a beer festival. With an all day affair of BBQ and 30 odd beers to sample, Harbott and myself new an early start was required. So after arriving at 6pm (Fashionably late folks) we missed the BBQ, we decided to make up for it by hoeing into the 9% Alcohol beer provided…..on empty stomach no less. We hung around for a while before heading off to the well known Brew Bar/Hostel. This place is run by some kiwi lads from Taranaki, good times ahead folks.

I also must add that this day was my 10,000 day on the planet, so to say I was excited was rather lame way to put it. Got a few shots care of the owner on that one, think it might be starting to catch on…..anyway we stayed in there for the rest of the night, listing to the authentic Irish band, being invited to the lock-in (Our first) and just general mayhem till we got shoved out around 4pm. The rest of the night involved another grubby feed from the chicken shop, and a rather drunken hour spent in the local internet call shop ringing any number in our cell phones. 30Euro later (that’s a lot) we had burnt bridges and abused friends, all class. Apologies again from the lads if you received a call, if not then we must have the wrong numbers for you…..we’ll find them!!!!

Anyway, the 4 hour car ride home was particularly hellish for myself, with a hangover that would kill a small buffalo, it was akin to raising from the dead which was rather appropriate given it was Easter Monday. Harbott was right as rain though, which didn’t help me at all.

10,000 Days

In my never ending search for inane reasons to go celebrate all things, I have discovered a rather compelling argument for my case. A little hush please people, for the my big day has arrived. Forget celebrating such tired old anniversaries as the 16th, 21st or even the redundant 30th! I have found the magic number friends, perfect and rounded. Yes people on Sunday April 16th 2006, it will be my 10,000th day alive.

Now this figure, when said out aloud, will no doubt sound impressive and it is . But its the numbers behind, that excite. I've more than likely spent 3333 days worth of this sleeping, probably eating through 417 days (Hard to tell), Mondays take up well over 1430 days worth...that’s not cool. But then Weekends come in at 1860 days. Hangovers, could be put at around 600, give or take a few. I’ve been working full time since about day 6800. I could go on!

If i had to look back, day 3890 was pretty cool when i found a playboy in the Trash! 7650 was the worst hangover and so was 7657.....1 week later, so not a great learner! 5534 could well have been another top day, but can't actually remember anything from it. No bother.

So in conclusion, I'd like to thank Mum and Dad for having me, on day 1. And to all the other people over the 9999 days that I’ve met, thanks.

For those of you who want to know there big day, just follow the link. Spread the gospel people, this is a special day to celebrate!

Day Clock

duChats

Oh, my 20,000th day will be August 30, 2033. So please keep that day free. Cheers

Manchester v Harbott

Harbott Reports - March 26th

Like any Man Utd fan, at some stage in there life they must make there pilgrimage to the Theater of Dreams (Old Trafford football ground) to pay homage to the mighty Red Devils. I planned the trip a couple of months ago with some lads from work, as tickets are as rare as J Cameron buying a round at the pub. The game against Birmingham was unfortunately on a Sunday, yet the lads decided we should really acclimatise to Manchester's conditions (the bars). So we arrived on Saturday (March 26th) ready to have a few warm ups before the big game. As luck would have it the hotel was in an area known as China town and as we all know theres nothing our little Asian buddies love more, is having a good old sing song (sorry JB I don't mean to generalize your people here). I thought to myself; Harbott this is time to shine!!! Needless to say Dr Hooks "Sexy eyes" hasn't sounded that bad since open mic night at the Deaf & Dumb School.

Match day saw us head down early and into one of the famous Man Utd supporter bars, the Bishops Blaze. The bar was a sea of red with drunk bastards of all ages belting out Man Utd songs non stop. It was an amazing atmosphere. The only thing I could compare it too would be like coming back from a footy trip on the bus except no one knew "I wish that all the ladies".

The game had a few notable achievements. The Man U captain Gary Neville celebrated his 500th game, a new stand opening with 70,000 people packed into Old Trafford to set a new Premiership record for a crowd attendance and the new superstar of English football Wayne Rooney netted his 50th goal for the club. The game was won with ease, 3-0, but the atmosphere was something else. Football fans are in a different league compared to there other sporting counterparts in terms of crowd support. Yes they are hooligans and probably need there heads read but you can't fault there passion. After the game it was more of the same as we celebrated into the night with the locals & then an absolute mad rush to catch our 8am flight home. (Note to self: not a good idea to take the early flight after two big nights on the gas)

Yours in Life,
Steven 'Harpeedo' Harbott

St Patrick and the Channel 4 News Team

When we look back on our wondrous journey into the Irish country and it's way of life, one day might well stand head and shoulders above the rest. Like a 21st or great sporting victory, it'll be remembered in years to come over a pint, and more than likely embellished in many more ways. For there is no more an Irish day than the great St Patrick's Day, and it doesn't get any better than celebrating it in Dublin! So here my friends is the brief description of the day, as seen thru 2-3 rather intoxicated eyes.

9.30am - Lads all meet at Seamus and Sam's place for a top notch cooked breakfast, once again would like to thank the ladies in the kitchen for there work . Due to Extreme numbers, Dan had about 15 people at his place across town too……were quite popular don't you know. Irish music was played, well U2 was on repeat. I believe that it was as good as seeing them Live in Auckland!

10:30am - By now a few sighters have been downed and the general spirit is lifting, the lads are shaking off the effects of Thursday night and are warming up. Nothing Crazy, but we're as excited as Bondy bowling at the tail!

11:00am - Shit house, out of Beer, and were gobsmacked to learn the Offie does not open till 12:30! Lucky the team have brought a back up, with the least of Irish drinks – Pimm's (Sorry Manu...we had to drink it) and Lemonade! Looks like Beer, but it's a rather cunning illusion, becasue in reality tastes like mud! It'll do.

11:22am - Our attempt at dressing in suits and looking classy backfires somewhat, when some genius notices that the 4 Lads (Harbott, Seamus, Sam and Myself) bear striking resemblance to the Anchorman movies Channel 4 News team - (Click Here). Personally, I can't see it. But we go with it, because were all about the craic. At first the plan was for Dead Man suits, but with our Charm and good looks, we decide to take to the new title with gusto! And it proves to be the decisive edge we needed for the day. With the Tardy polyester look, meat worker shirts and god awful ties, were set to go. Even managed to keep the tags on all night, incase I needed to return in morning.

11:45 am – We hit the Streets for the Parade. The world famous St Patrick's parade through the heart of the city. After a quick pit stop in the Pub we whipped out to watch the extravaganza……..I last all of 15min of watching, after 30 marching bands, 300 screaming kids (not including the 100,000 lining the street) , 1 million coloured fish (Not sure what the connection between St Patrick and Fish was, but one can only assume he was either a fisherman or had a small fetish for the little buggars), Rain, Hail and some fairly weird looking floats. Dissapointed I find myself heading for the comfort of the Doyle's Pub, lamenting the lack off Potatoes, Leprachuns and fiddles! Met up with Dan and the whole Dublin delegation was present for the big day, special times!

12:20pm – Witnessed the first and quite surprisingly my only arrest of the day, but in true Irish style it takes the cake. Large Gardi (Police) pushing young 12yr old in handcuffs along the sidewalk…with young lads old man in Tow, and both abusing nine colours out of each other. Classic stuff! Missed what would have been the greatest Kodak moment ever…no Bother!

Harbott managed to stay watching for the whole parade (Only one), I think he got wind of the Brazilian float, and once that went past…he was Hungary for more. Turned up in the Pub with a thirst on and oddly enough a mini version of 'Guess Who', that Zany favorite family board game from the 80's! After a few games, he was in to the drink and out of the championship, couldn't pick a dirty nose.

2:00 – 4:00pm – Buy now the lads are in Full Anchorman character. All taking on their Favorite one, while claming it was the initial plan from the outset. We really had fallen on golden times at Doyle's, effectively taking the place over as we all rove around acting like complete twats, and people are actually loving it! Queue fits of laughter from Yanks, Aussies, Poms and Irish. The only exception was the contingent of Eastern Europeans, who are always the funniest of people, and life of the party. On sighting our Suits, they enquired as to why! Answer – "To take the Piss", I said to the strange looking Chec girl…..which was met with blank faces, and the same question "Why you wear Suits….."

We all came to the conclusion that in Eastern Europe these suits were probably the height of fashion…I'm looking to move there next year!

4: 00pm 2:00 am - At this point the time line becomes superfluous to needs and ability, as the day become one long drunken crazy conversation with anyone who possessed either a mouth and/or ears, neither being a necessity for our banter. As the night wore on, so did our welcome mat, but god loves a tryer and we hung in there.

We ended up at the same pub for well over 12 Hours, till just before closing. I really believe you can break the night up into two distinct sections. Pre Snake Bite and Post Snake bite……..Basically anything after 4-5pm was snake bite territory!

So after waking the next day, the generally consensus was:

St Patrick's Day in Dublin – You number 1 !

St Patricks Day Photos